Are Danes hard to befriend? Or just private?
Danes like to give others their privacy, but once you get talking to a Dane, they’re certainly open to making new friends. Here are a few tips on how to befriend Danes.
There can be somewhat of a rumour among foreigners that Danes are a little unfriendly - the idea that they are difficult to connect with and prefer to keep to themselves and the social networks they’ve already formed. But if you look a little closer, you can find that once you get talking to a Dane, they’re genuine, warm people who are more-often-than-not open to making new friends.
In the Expat Study 2020 by Oxford Research, only 20% agreed that it was easy to make friends in Denmark. Almost 1/3 disagreed, while 16% strongly disagreed. And, in a survey conducted by Erhverv Aarhus in 2022, 37% of expats said it was difficult to form lasting relationships with Danes, while a further 33% said it was very difficult. Just 1/5 of those surveyed said it was easy.
Probably out of respect for privacy
Homogeneity and trust are two of the major values of the Danish society, and within this comes a respect for consensus, privacy and equality. This means that Danes like to give others their privacy, and to only ask you questions and “get to know you” when they know your boundaries – and perhaps this is a little easier when meeting through mutual friends.
But this does not mean that Danish people are by any means unkind or unhelpful. You will likely instead find that as long as you ask for what you want or need, Danes will be very glad to help you where they can, and they’ll open up if you’re open to them!
Three tips for befriending a Dane:
Join a club or community where both Danes and internationals are involved - could be sports, choir, yoga or maybe the board of the children's kindergarten.
Get talking to the bartender at the cosy café you frequent.
Ask any Danish people you know out for a coffee - and look for options for meeting Danes through mutual friends.